Picaresque

Ahh, album reviews! Seems like ages since I've done one! Here we are, my review of Picaresque, by the Decemberists. And man, is it long. I spent way too much time on this.

Picaresque by the Decemberists

9.5/10

A Picaresque novel is a story of a young roguish character who gets by based on their wits. If that’s the case, then where is that theme on the album Picaresque? The album is filled with narrative-based songs, with only two exceptions, and none of them fit the title.

But that doesn’t matter. What does matter are the lyrics, compositions, melodies, and overall quality of the album. Many Decemberists fans declare it their best album. Does it hold up to this reputation? Personally, I prefer The King is Dead, but it’s still incredibly well put together.

The music on Picaresque varies widely. The opener, “The Infanta,” is bold, loud, and grand. Then the songs change their dynamics, from the muted “Eli the Barrow Boy” to the dreary “For My Own True Love.” One interesting track is “The Sporting Life,” which bears little resemblance to the rest of the album in both lyrical themes and sound; its percussion takes the lead. Perhaps the most interesting song in terms of composition is the mammoth 8 minute “Mariner’s Revenge Song,” with mandolin, violin, upright bass, and various other instruments falling in step behind accordions and guitars. It churns forward, constantly changing, enhancing the narrative it presents. The album’s conclusion is the brief “Of Angels and Angles,” which is a short arpeggio-based song with nothing but acoustic guitar and Meloy’s vocals.

However, this is a Decemberists album, so the focus is on the lyrics. Every song on the album constructs a scene, narrative, or explicit message.  Every song on this album is dark. From monarchs to suicide pacts to personal failure to lost love to government conspiracies to personal struggle, there is not one cheerful song on this album. That’s not to say that every song paints a dreary picture, or that the album is overly depressing. The songs focus on much more than depression. Colin Meloy is a fan of historical narratives (“Decemberists”, wonder where he got that!), and he sets several songs in the 1800s, such as “The Mariner’s Revenge Song” and “We Both Go Down Together.” Some, like “The Bagman’s Gambit,” are set in semi-dystopic settings. “16 Military Wives” is an all-out protest song. However, “The Mariner’s Revenge Song” has the most intense story of all, with an 8-minute narrative of revenge against a conman. While the stories widely vary, and can seem jarring at times (a story of how boy commits suicide is juxtaposed with a song about a boy who falls down at a sports game), sometimes they blend beautifully(a song about a widow is juxtaposed with “16 Military Wives”).

The album is dense, dark, and hard to get into, but if one is committed enough, you won’t ever put it down.

1. The Infanta – 8/10 A loud and intense opening with middle eastern elements. It describes a royal procession, focusing around a child monarch, the titular Infanta.

2. We Both Go Down Together – 9/10 Set in the 1800s, this song follows a young couple as they form a suicide pact on the cliffs of Dover. The song has a swift tempo and violins drive the verses, which lead into soaring choruses. The song goes into expository detail: the boy was rich, the girl was poor, his parents forbade it. It ends with them leaping off the cliffs: “We fall, though our souls are flying.”

3.  Eli the Barrow Boy – 10/10 This song is depressing. Incredibly depressing. A quiet acoustic song, it only has Meloy’s voice, an accordion solo, and the guitar. The lyrics follow Eli, a young poor boy who pushes a wheelbarrow into town to sell coal. He is trying to buy a dress for his lover when she dies. Eli commits suicide, though his ghost is said to still push the barrow. The song works extremely well with its quiet atmosphere. The guitar and Meloy’s vocals are unnerving, and the vocals feature a female harmony. One of the highlights of the album.

4. The Sporting Life – 8/10 A bit jarring, really, to come to this song. It’s a percussion based song, with most of the instruments taking back seat until the chorus. It has a driving riff below the drums, giving them an extra rhythm. The lyrics describe a boy who has fallen down on the playing field of his championship game. He sees his humiliation and laments that he’s entered the “sporting life” Something tells me that Meloy has personal experience with this.

5. The Bagman’s Gambit – 10/10 This is a very interesting song. The lyrics tell the story of a young woman who kills a plainclothes cop and is tortured by the federal government. It is told from the perspective of a government agent, who remembers an affair they had. It doesn’t seem to be set in the real world, favoring a more dystopic feeling for the government, and it clearly takes place in D.C. The song has two distinct sections. The verses are quiet and acoustic, with dyads on the high E and B strings. The choruses, by contrast, are loud and full, with a wall of sound and emotion. The song climaxes with a distorted cry from Meloy, lost in a sea of distorted violins. It’s very intense and confusing. The coda is in the style of the verses and concludes the story like an epilogue.

6. For My Own True Love – 9/10 This is a dreary little depressing song. A woman lives alone in a small town. She constantly asks the postman for a letter, one from her own true love, lost at sea. This is likely a dig at the song “Please Mr. Postman,” which has very similar lines about waiting for letters from your lover; the difference is wonderfully dark. The song is composed in C minor, and has a very recognizable repeating melody. It’s slow, repetitive, and carries a great deal of emotion. Paired with the lyrics, it works beautifully.

7. 16 Military Wives – 10/10 The only non-narrative song. This song is a protest song, directing its anger at both the American invincibility: “America can, and America can’t say no” and the media response to Iraq: “And the anchor person on TV goes la-di-da-di-da.” It’s a little hard to pin a genre on it. It’s got saxes and trumpets on it, as well as organs and an upright bass. It’s fast, loud, and focused. It also fits well after “My Own True Love,” as 5 of the 16 wives lose their husbands.

8. The Engine Driver – 11/10 My hands-down favorite song on the album, and a very fun song to play on the guitar. This song is a little puzzling. The lyrics describe professions and loss, and the narrative seems to follow characters who seem frustrated at stagnation, with the whole song being tied together by the chorus: “I am a writer, a writer of fictions.” This makes the song seem to be one character, describing personalities he writes trying to rid his former lover “from my bones.” The song is composed in E minor/G major, and follows a simple progression of minor chords-major chords, reversed for the bridge, and shuffled for the chorus. This gives it a consistant and stable sound, but keeps it dynamic, despite the song lacking major changes. With the melody, lyrics, and its general catchy sound, it’s my favorite by far.

9. On the Bus Mall – 10/10 This song is very well written. The lyrics describe two teenagers from broken homes. They find each other in the streets and alleys, and build a life for themselves. It’s pretty clear that the couple are gay, as there’s the hint of male prostitution and the lack of femininity to the song. That being said, it is ambiguous, as no pronouns other than “you” are used. The song’s composition is well put together. The song’s verses trade back between two chords with electric guitar riffs in the background, and the choruses keep the same mood while building beautiful melodies. The song is set at a moderate tempo, and at 6 minutes, it’s long. However, the song does not drag. It has motion, and the narrative is engaging. Many people consider this the best on the album, and for me, it’s definitely a highlight.

10. The Mariner’s Revenge Song – 10/10 I love this song. It’s over the top, loud, engaging, and extremely interesting. At 8:45, it’s long. LONG. But every note of it builds up a narrative, conveys emotion, and makes it seem like the audio to a play. The story is the most fleshed out of the entire album. It starts with two mariners in the belly of a whale, and one relates to the other how their histories are connected. The other mariner married his widowed mother, swindled her, left the family destitute. His mother dies, telling him to take revenge. Years later, the narrator gets a job at a priory, where he learns that the man is now a captain with privateers after him. He joins a privateer to hunt him down, and when he finds him, a whale comes up and destroys their boats. Here the two men find themselves together, and the story ends with the narrator declaring his mother’s last words at the man. The song is incredibly well written. It starts with an a minor chord on the accordion, setting a dark scene. Then the song builds slowly, the instruments coming together for mood underneath Meloy’s vocals. The best examples of how the music adds to the story come from the bridge, which comes during the narrator’s voyage with the privateer, and the cacophony of screams and chaos as the whale attacks.

11. Of Angels and Angles – 11/10 A quiet acoustic closer to the album. The lyrics seem to recall “We Both Go Down Together” – two lovers are drowning. The lyrics aren’t explicit about anything; this makes the song sound pleasant instead of haunting. The composition is based around arpeggio-esque patterns that flow up the strings as Meloy sings. It would give a haunting affect if it didn’t sound so calm and pleasant. It’s another favorite, and it’s an excellent end to the album.

Evolution Test

I was coasting the Blogosphere, as I often do, when I went into some of Pharyngula's archives. There was a post about a site I remember seeing a few years ago back when I was first getting into my bile addiction to Creationist tripe. The wonderful Missing Universe Museum!
This site is the crown jewel of creationist stupidity. It is beyond unreasonable; it lacks any modicum intelligence. It reads like something an idiot would preach back when Darwin first published Origin of Species. Now, there's a case for everything on it, and I've gone through them all and refuted them in an old essay, but I think that the best (and by that I mean stupidest) one of all is the "Evolution Test," for ages the #2 or 3 spot on FSTDT's Top 100. It's stupid and insipid beyond rational thought, so let's go through it with overly detailed answers! It's an insult to my intelligence, but that doesn't mean I don't get to answer it with undeserving intelligence.


Students, give this test to your teachers. When they fail it, ask them why they are teaching this nonsense!
Back in Freshman year, I did just that. My biology teacher, who was an evolutionary major, was left speechless because, of course it easily and handily debunked his entire college education!

Teachers, give this test to your students if you really want them to know the truth about evolution! 
Needless to say, he refused this part, citing his fear that doing such would destroy millions of innocent brain cells.
1. Which evolved first, male or female?

Both of them obviously evolved at the same time. The first organisms, the primitive archeabacteria, did not use sexual reproduction; they were asexual. The usage of gene shuffling began likely as it does now: plasmids. Sexual reproduction, when it emerged, requires both sexes to exist at the same time.

2. How many millions of years elapsed between the first male and first female?

This question fully exposes the author's blatant stupidity. To assume that there is a gap of millions of years between the first female and male is such an egregious misunderstanding of evolutionary theory, the author decided that it was shitty enough to put as one of the main questions on his site as the header. Of course, the question is ludicrous because, as stated above, sexual reproduction requires two partners. There is no possible way that one gender could have evolved before the other.

3. List at least 9 of the false assumptions made with radioactive dating methods.

Nine false assumptions? I'm no expert on this, but clearly you are. Unfortunately I'll have to skip this one, mostly because I have no clue what he wants.

4. Why hasn't any extinct creature re-evolved after millions of years?

Ugh. The stupid. Alright, blockhead, this is why. Whenever a new species emerges,  several pieces of its genetic code are wildly different from other organisms. These new genes may be passed down, or they may not be, and they aren't in your example. However, traits bearing similarity to extinct ones or traits found in different animals does happen. This is called convergent evolution, which is when two species fit similar niches with similar adaptations. But convergent evolution works on two different species in two different environments/niches. As a result, the convergences will never line up to anything approaching the shadow of the silhouette of the mirage of the fantasy of another species. For example, let's take my favorite sea-bound creature, the cuttlefish. Cuttlefish are on an entirely different phylum from humans, mammals, reptiles, and the like, yet they have complex eyes. This is convergent evolution: eyesight was needed for them as it was for members of the phylum Chordata, so it was developed. Now look at yourself, then at a cuttlefish. That's about as close as convergent evolution will come.

5. Which came first:

...the eye,

...the eyelid,

...the eyebrow,

...the eye sockets,

...the eye muscles,

...the eye lashes,

...the tear ducts,

...the brain's interpretation of light?

The brain's interpretation of light. Duh. Look at how you add on the complexities. Evolution starts with simpler traits that add complexity as they develop to fit their respective niches. While "start simple, end complex" is far from a perfect rule of thumb for evolution, with something as mapped out as the eye, it should be beyond obvious.

6. How many millions of years between each in question 5?

Likely, there was a large gap between the brain's interpretation of light/the eye to the rest. How separate these two are is very hard to discern, due to them being quite similar. Could you consider a collection of photoreceptive cells to be an eye, or do you mean a complex thing like what humans have? The rest of the traits came around the same time, I would imagine, in the Cambrian Explosion, with the exceptions of tear ducts, eyelashes, and eyebrows. Tear ducts evolved with land-based animals, and eyebrows/eyelashes came with mammals.

7. If we all evolved from a common ancestor, why can't all the different species mate with one another and produce fertile offspring?

My cerebrum is screaming at me right now for letting it undergo such mental torture. Allow me to calmly explain why what you just said was so FUCKING STUPID.

A new species is created when two communities have allowed their genes to differ far enough from each other that there is now no more possibility of reproduction, or at least, fertile reproduction. That is the difference between a breed and a species, and that is the definition of species. How you show so much stupidity in that short sentence is beyond me.

8. List any of the millions of creatures in just five stages of its evolution showing the progression of a new organ of any kind. 

While not a new organ, I can best describe the brain in humans.

a. Australopithecus aferensis had simpler, smaller, chimplike brains.

b. Homo habilis had significantly larger brains.

c. Homo erectus had more cognitive brains due to the recession of the occipital lobe.

d. Homo neanderthals, while not our direct ancestors, still show the development of the brain.

e. Finally, we have Homo sapiens.

9. Why is it that the very things that would prove Evolution (transitional forms) are still missing?

Transitional fossils are not missing by any stretch of the imagination. We have fossils of all the forms above. We have fossils of countless forms from the Cambrian explosion. Hell, you can say that any fossil is transitional because it represents the change in form in any species. The only reason that this is a question on your test is because your ignorance is willful and blinding.

10. Explain why something as complex as human life could happen by chance, but something as simple as a coin must have a creator. (Show your math solution.)

Math solution? Are you insane? How would this even apply? What math could you use? Why are you so infuriating in your obvious idiocy?

Anyways, this is the watchmaker analogy, which is easy to refute. You are comparing two non-exchangeable items with different properties. Let's say that I had a bunch of rocks and a small bowl. Not one rock perfectly fits the bowl, so I conclude that therefore, a rock that can fit the bowl is designed. Liquids, however, fill the bowl perfectly every time. Therefore, I conclude liquids are designed. See how that fails? Your analogy compares something known to be made by humans with something known to have natural causes. 

11. Why aren't any fossils or coal or oil being formed today?

They are, actually. The process is so mindbendingly slow that your empty little mind obviously cannot handle it. Not only that, but humans have disrupted that a bit with all our peat mining. 

12. List 50 vestigial or useless organs or appendages in the human body.

50!? 50. Wow. The reason that there aren't that many is simply because the forms that evolved with these traits died off often, or the organs gradually disappeared. I can, however, list a few.

•The classic example: the appendix. Not needed. We cannot digest cellulose.

•The gallbladder is approaching this status. It serves too many functions, most that we do not need.

•The inner ear muscles. You know that weird kid who could move his ears in elementary school? Well, it these weren't vestigial, then that would be seen as a shocking disability.

•The tailbone. Why bother? Tails have long since left human biology.

•Junk DNA. 

•The vestigial eyelid.

•Wisdom teeth! Yeah, those asshole teeth that disrupt your life have no real purpose.

13. Why hasn't anyone collected the millions of dollars in rewards for proof of evolution?

Moving the goalposts. Whenever sufficient evidence comes along, you'll pick up the goalposts and move 'em with glee. This is human; everyone does it and it really proves nothing.

14. If life began hundreds of millions of years ago, why is the earth still under populated?

Underpopulated. REALLY!? Find one square meter of this planet that does not contain any life. Not even the bottom of the Marianas Trench, the icy plains of Antartica, or the dry dusts of the Atacama are not without their microbes. Unless you mean that not every inch of the planet is covered in large, complex life, this statement is bullshit, bullshit, bull-shit. And even then, how would that be possible!? You're such an idiot! Such an idiot!

15. Why hasn't evolution duplicated all species on all continents?

Alright, dammit, last one. Whenever a new species emerges, several pieces of its genetic code are wildly different from other organisms. However, traits bearing similarity to extinct ones or traits found in different animals does happen. This is called convergent evolution - wait. Why am I answering this again!? Good god, the stupid has caused me memory loss! Augh!


Well, that was fun. Brought back a bit of the stupidity nostalgia that I get whenever I see these things again, like watching the Bananaman video or the wonderful Kent Hovind lectures again. Anyways, that's enough of the stupid. I need culture. Art. Intelligence. Most of all, BRAIN BLEACH.

An Overly Long Summary of the Civil War

Last week, I was given a simple assignment: answer six questions, in paragraph form, about the civil war. Being a civil war buff, I was finally relived to cover a part of history I knew too much about. I began to write them down, but soon I grew impatient of writing in such confines, and decided to write out a massive summary. Here it is in its five-page glory.
Note that all quotes are paraphrased, as I did this all from memory without looking at any sources.
That being said, it helps to have access to Ken Burns.

In 1861, the Union had come apart. The North, with its immense power and advantages, sought to destroy the Confederates with a 90 day war. The Confederates felt that they could kill 10 Yankees for every Southern death. Both sides expected a short fight.

That summer, the Army of the Potomac, which had been built up by General Irvine McDowell, marched under his command across the Potomac and into Northern Virginia, bent on destroying the Rebs. In their wake was a massive crowd of spectators, who wanted to see the first battle in what they assumed would be a short and cheerful affair. A rebel force under Joseph E. Johnson and P. T. Beauregard came up to counter them outside the town of Manassas in Virginia. The two armies clashed, and at first it seemed that Union victory was a guarantee. But as time went on, General Thomas Jackson proved to hold enough courage to stand up against the army, “like a stone wall.” The Confederates counterattacked. Terrified, the Union forces fled. Left on the battlefield was disgruntled Manassas resident Wilmer MacLean, who decided to move to avoid the war. The battle was sobering, costing the Union thousands of casualties and shocking the nation, but it was nothing compared to the bloodshed that would follow.

In 1862, as George McClellan was hired to command the Army of the Potomac, a General Ulysses S. Grant was winning battles in spite of everyone else losing. He won several small skirmishes, then attacked Fort Donelson, surrounded it, and declared unconditional surrender. It would become his nickname. Soon, Beauregard and a (different) Johnson were waiting to attack Grant when he drew near enough. Johnson saw his chance when Grant stopped near Pittsburg Landing to regroup. The Confederates drove Grant’s forces back in Shiloh, the first truly bloody and brutal battle of the Civil War, where more men fell than in the Revolution. Grant’s forces were saved due to the Hornet’s Nest, a group of soldiers who refused to retreat, even killing Johnson himself. Grant was soon reinforced by Buell’s Army, which quickly made work of the Confederate forces. Shiloh was won.

Following the rigorous training of his army, McClellan landed on the James River peninsula and sluggishly creeped to Richmond. Joseph Johnson, soon to be replaced by Lee, came to counter him. In a brilliant move, the general at Yorktown convinced McClellan that he was horrifically outnumbered. McClellan demanded more troops, and Lee saw his chance. In the 7 Days, he lost four battles, yet won against the timid McClellan. The failure of McClellan led one of his officers to declare him motivated by “cowardice or treason.” Lincoln replaced McClellan with John Pope, who quickly lost the Battle of Manassas on the same battlefield as Bull Run. Lincoln begrudgingly replaced him with McClellan.

 George McClellan now held the army around Washington, keeping his troops training and preparing. Lee, seeing his chance, invaded the North with the intent to put Maryland in the Union. However, one of his clumsy aides lost the battle plans, and a Union scout discovered them lying in a field. Order 191 gave McClellan the perfect tool for fighting the Confederates, and in a stunning show of his military genius, he waited almost a day until he put them in action. When he finally did, the battle would take place along a meandering creek outside the Maryland town of Sharpsburg known as Anteitam. It was the bloodiest day in American history.

Lee attacked in three forces. The first was repelled in a cornfield. The second mowed down troops from a sunken road until artillery zeroed in on it and blew it to pieces. The final fight took place along a stone bridge, where Union troops defeated the Confederates after an entire day, only to be repulsed by evening. It was not a victory for either army, but it was demoralizing enough for Lee to retreat and for Lincoln to free the slaves.

President Lincoln had been waiting for such a battle to declare the Emancipation Proclamation in order to prevent it from being seen as an empty threat. Once declared, the proclamation freed the slaves in the Confederacy, not the border states. But what it meant took precedence over what it said. It made the fight change from Union and States’ Rights to being about the peculiar institution. This worked wonders on the war. While regiments in the North deserted and the South painted Lincoln as an anti-Christian demon, the proclamation confirmed that Europe would stay out of the war and that Black soldiers would be a likely asset.

In 1863, with the proclamation now in effect, Lincoln went about arming the Blacks. The 54^th Massachusetts was formed as the first regiment. Many other regiments soon followed, with multiple cavalry and infantry division to soon bear a great deal of the fighting. The 54^th Massachusetts would be pulverized at Fort Wagner, but their heroism in the battle was a major morale boost to the other Blacks. By the war’s end, 10% of the North’s military was African-American. For perspective, the North had fewer than 4%.

Anteitam had another effect on the war. General George McClellan was removed from command, permanently. Lincoln was furious with his lack of exploiting Anteitam. Instead, he hired the commander who had valiantly fought at the Bridge at Anteitam, Ambrose Burnside. Burnside invaded Virginia, searching for the Confederates. He soon reached the Rappahannock River and decided to sack Fredericksburg, a vital railroad link. Unfortunately, Lee soon found him and reinforced Mary’s Heights above the city. 14 hopeless charges later, the Army of the Potomac, crippled and exhausted, withdrew and Burnside was removed from command.

In his place, Lincoln found “Fightin’ Joe” Hooker, who had seen action in various battles before. Hooker came up with a predictable strategy: feign an attack and attack from the rear. Lee saw right through it. In a stunning move, Lee divided his army. Hooker’s forces ran right into one section in the hamlet of Chancellorsville. Hooker then went from being overconfident to downright stupid and refused to push back the Confederates, convinced that it was only a small force. Lee, sensing Hooker’s confusion, then divided his army again and sent Stonewall Jackson around Hooker’s left. Jackson’s men tore through the unsuspecting Union forces and tore the army apart. It left, battered and broken. The Confederate victory came at a price, however. Stonewall Jackson was shot by his own men while preparing for a night attack. He would die several weeks later, whispering, “let us rest under the shade of the trees.”

Lee, now overconfident from the two absolute victories, invaded the North again, pushing for Philadelphia. He entered Pennsylvania and was going towards Harper’s Ferry when there came a report of shoes in Gettysburg. It would be the largest battle in the Western Hemisphere. As units converged, the Confederates took the town while the Federals took a ridge behind a gate that read, “Any persons carrying firearms in this area will be prosecuted.” On the second day, the Union successfully repulsed attacks on Culp’s Hill, and Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain rose to national prominence for his daring bayonet charge on Little Round Top. On the third day, it all came crashing down on the Confederates when Lee ordered George Pickett’s division across a mile-wide field. Half of it was slaughtered. When asked to rally his division, Pickett bitterly told Lee “I have no division.” The next day, on July 4, Lee retreated in a steady rain. With that defeat came another, with equal importance: Vicksburg.

General Grant had won Shiloh, captured half of Tennessee, including Memphis, and seen Admiral Farragut advance up the Mississippi to take New Orleans without firing a single shot. Now, he needed the “key” to the river. The town of Vicksburg, high up on a series of bluffs, prevented any ships from passing via a volley of cannon fire. Grant wanted it taken. In a daring move, he crossed the Mississippi, hacked his way through swamps, sacked the Mississippi capital, and surrounded Vicksburg. For months he poured fire into the city, forcing the inhabitants to live like “prairie dogs.” Finally, on July 4, without word of Gettysburg, the commander of Vicksburg surrendered. Both battles ended Confederate hopes, nearly for good.

In the fall of 1863, Confederates under Braxton Bragg clung to eastern Tennessee, attacking the Unions sporadically. General William Rosecrans was ordered to stop them. In a series of brilliant flanking maneuvers, he drove Bragg all the way to the city of Chattanooga, which he quickly fortified. Bragg slipped back to Chickamauga Creek, where Rosecrans, urged by his men, attacked. The battle was a bloody, murderous fistfight that ended in disaster when Rosecrans opened a gap in his lines. The battle was salvaged by General George H. Thomas, whose actions would gain him of the “Rock of Chickamauga.” Lincoln replaced Rosecrans with him, and soon sent Grant over to end the war in Tennessee. Following Chickamauga, the Army of Tennessee held the high ground outside Chattanooga, known as Lookout Mountain. Grant ordered it taken. His men did so in spectacular fashion, then destroyed the Confederates the next day on an adjacent ridge. Chattanooga was won, and would serve as the launch pad for Sherman.

For this excellent victory, Grant was summoned to Washington to gain the rank of Lieutenant General. He now had control of the entire US Military, and he quickly set a plan in motion. Sherman would sack Atlanta. Sheridan would burn down the Shenandoah. And Meade and Grant would carve out a crescent of blood in Virginia. The plans were set in action.  Sheridan tore through the Shenandoah, burning crops, looting towns, and destroying Jubal Earle’s cavalry. Sherman cut a path of destruction through Northern Georgia, but stalled outside Atlanta. Grant, meanwhile, was overseeing the most vicious campaign of the war.

Operation Overland was a nonstop battle between Grant and Lee along a thirty-mile crescent. Grant employed the same tactic: move by the left flank. So did Lee: bunker down and reinforce. The two armies first clashed in the vicious Battle of the Wilderness. Fought on the Chancellorsville battlefield, it was the most horrifying battle of the war. The “Wilderness” was a thicket of trees laden with skeletons of Chancellorsville. The fighting was hand-to-hand, and companies got lost and fired on their own men. At nightfall, the entire landscape caught fire, scorching men alive while both armies listened to their screams. General Grant, horrified with the battle, broke down and wept in his tent while the flames soared through the woods.

However, there was not stopping the army. Grant pushed on, despite the losses and horrors. He moved onto the next battlefield; a region known as Spotsylvania, where the two armies crippled each other. Then came the cavalry attack on Yellow Tavern, where JEB Stuart was killed. Next came the most one-sided fight, Cold Harbor, where Lee’s troops dug into an embankment and mowed down Grant’s troops, killing 7,000 in 15 minutes. It was the only mistake Grant ever admitted to. At last, Grant outwitted Lee. He feigned an assault towards Richmond, but then attacked Petersburg. Lee got there too, and the two bunkered down for a Trench Warfare siege.

It was now 1864, and Lincoln was facing a dilemma. Sherman was stuck outside Atlanta, and Grant was stuck outside Petersburg. The general populace, appalled by the Overland Campaign, was sick of war. And a man who held a grudge against Lincoln now sought election. George McClellan, the old general, ran against Lincoln in 1864. Lincoln had been attacked in the political arena for the entire war, weeding out Copperheads and being savaged by the press. Now, with his armies stalled, he feared that he would be badly beaten.

Yet fortune would soon change. McClellan’s message of peace was so uninspired, dull, and incoherent that even his beloved army voted for Lincoln. Sherman, who had been stuck outside Atlanta, finally defeated John Bell Hood and took the city. And Sheridan’s reign of terror in the Shenandoah was going exactly according to plan. McClellan, not Lincoln, was badly beaten in the election.

Sherman’s army now was let loose in Georgia. He ransacked Atlanta, burned it to the ground, and then set out for Savannah and the sea, pillaging as he went. Along the way, his men ran into several POW camps. Enraged at what they saw, Sherman’s men turned the pillaging up to 11. The army cut a swath of destruction ten miles wide. Hood, furious that he had been defeated at Atlanta, sought to distract Sherman. He invaded Tennessee, attacking supply columns, but failed to distract Sherman. “Let him go to Ohio if he wants,” Sherman mocked. “I’ll serve him rations when he gets there.” The Rock of Chickamauga, George Thomas, refused to let Hood get farther than Nashville. At Franklin, his Army of the Cumberland thoroughly savaged Hood’s army, tearing it apart after Hood made a series of disorganized charges. Hood resigned in disgrace, and the once-proud Army of the Tennessee was reduced to a mob.

Sherman’s army reached the sea, and the general presented Lincoln the city of Savannah as a Christmas present. They then rolled into South Carolina, declaring that “This is where secession began, and here it shall end!” They hacked through swamps, ransacked towns, burned Columbia, twisted rail lines, and taunted the Confederate civilians. Eventually the march reached North Carolina, where Sherman finally ended his march.

Meanwhile, Grant had finally won at Petersburg. Lee had made a desperate night attack on an earthwork. It was repelled and a counterattack broke the lines. Lee sent a letter to Richmond to evacuate the government. Chaos soon followed. The once-proud Confederate capital was looted and burned by ex-slaves, civilians, and finally, the Union troops. With the city taken, Grant now resolved to end Lee, once and for all.

Lee fled up the Appomattox Creek, with Grant right behind him. Finally, he reached Appomattox Court House, a tiny hamlet where disgruntled Manassas resident Wilmer MacLean now lived. Grant declared that Lee surrender, and met Lee in MacLean’s house. The Army of Northern Virginia was defeated.

The war was over. Jefferson Davis was captured in Mississippi. Robert E. Lee’s house was turned into Arlington National Cemetery. Joseph Johnston surrendered to Sherman. And Abraham Lincoln was assassinated.

Following the war, the brotherhood sentiments that Lincoln had tried so hard to put in place were replaced by Johnson’s disastrous Reconstruction Plan. With slavery abolished, an exodus of Blacks from the South ensured that the landscape would stay forever changed. Bile and hate would rise to new levels in the South. Nathan Bedford Forrest would found the Ku Klux Klan, which would terrify the South until Grant, now president, would send in troops to quell the violence.

However, the Civil War ensured that the United States would continue to exist. It ensured that the nation would live up to what was written in the Constitution, though it would be long after the war that it finally was realized. Most importantly, the war defined the United States as one single united nation.

“Before the war, people would typically say that the ‘United States are…’ But then after the war, and still today, people will say ‘The United States is…’ And that’s what the war did. It made us an is.”

-Shelby Foote

Maps, Again!

Wohoo, new post!

I think that this might be my favorite xkcd ever.

Why yes, I do wear running shoes everywhere and I adore the Beatles. Robinson FTW!

Alien Founders

It's been a while since I've posted on this blog, as schoolwork, water polo, and lack of motivation have taken their toll. Yesterday, I was considering posting, but didn't know what to write about. So I gave up and went to the TV. In school, I've been studying the American Revolution, and decided to see if there was still a shred of historical programming on the History Channel that could help me. And sure enough, there was something on about the founding fathers. And it taught me a great lesson.

The founding fathers were directly inspired by…
ALIENS!

Fuck you, History Channel. Fuck you.

Unfortunately, there's a large piece of my psyche that loves to feed on stupidity, and so I decided to sit and watch it, jotting down notes to write an explanation as to why this is as stupid as it is. So here it is, my rebuttal to Ancient Aliens: The Founding Fathers.

The episode starts with showing the Founding Fathers and posing the question if they believed in aliens. They reference articles Ben Franklin published in his Poor Richard's Almanacs that mention extra-terrestrials, and call it "proof" that he had solid faith in aliens.
I have one massive problem with this logic. Apparently, believing in aliens means that one believes that aliens came to Earth. I believe aliens exist. Ben Franklin might have as well. However, neither one of us would say that aliens had been to Earth before. Franklin was a skeptic, so I doubt he'd be with that funny looking guy in saying that aliens were responsible for every advancement of man.
The other bits of evidence brought up are the Iroquois myths, about how a pregnant woman descended from the heavens and gave birth to humankind. I love how the guy presenting the myth in the show called the figure an "extraterrestrial." It's so common in Ancient Alien "theorists" that myths of sky-gods refer to aliens that it's seen as one of the greatest pieces of evidence for it. The only real refutation is that humans are an imaginative species. The sky is easily mythologized. So immediately posing aliens as the only answer is not only a huge leap in logic, it's calling the mythmakers unimaginative.

The second portion of their case is that the Founders were directly influenced by aliens. The moment they said "Valley Forge" I turned red from the stupid. Obviously they were referring to Washington's vision. According to myth, during the Valley Forge encampment, George Washington went into the woods and said a prayer. Then, an angel appeared and told him to never give up hope. She told of his victory, the Civil War, and the US's emergence as the most powerful nation on the planet.
I have a few little problems with this story. First comes the fact that it first appeared in 1880, without ever being mentioned earlier. One would think that if Washington told the aid who supposedly introduced the myth, then he would've spoken earlier, since it tells such an amazing prediction. Another problem is the fact that Washington never speaks of it. Never. Not once. This incredibly honest man sees an apparition that tells him about the future of the United States, and lives in a time when such visions were believed. Why then, would he only tell an aid? It could be used as a major rallying cry for the troops, as well as a motivation for the citizens.

Alien?

Finally, the fact that the myth is tied into aliens only adds more questions. If the aliens knew the future, then why would they want D.C. to be built to signal them? If the aliens were rooting for Washington, then why would they wait until Valley Forge to show it? I mean, at Germantown Washington's army, had it been better organized, would've routed Howe. Why wouldn't the aliens help Washington's men directly? Was Friedrich von Steuben an alien? This leap in logic makes no sense.
The next evidence is a UFO that was reported to Thomas Jefferson. This is something to behold, people. The father of the Declaration believes in aliens because he heard about a meteor UFO near Baton Rouge. The incident is about an object that falls from the sky, causing a good deal of heat and light, but does't form a huge crater when it crashes. Of course, meteors do this often, but don't bother telling that to them. The program makes the incident seem so important that it's a smaller leap in logic to assume that Jefferson believed in aliens, you know, like how it's easier to jump the Grand Canyon than Valles Marinas.

Now comes the time when we delve into the classic conspiracy of the Revolution. The Freemasons!
Yes, the Freemasons, who give the Illuminati a run for their money as the favorites of any conspiracy theorist. The Ancient Aliens apparently directly inspired this organization, whose symbols are used for signaling them to land. The program calls the organization a bunch of alien seeking elites who held the believe of extraterrestrials at heart. I'm no expert on Freemasonry, but something tells me that that's a load of shit.
For the most part, it's all about symbols and how they relate to aliens. But then there's the epitome of stupid in this episode. This painting.

                 
As you can see, the painting is decorated with Freemasonic imagery and various symbols. But the program focuses specifically on one little section.

I know it's low resolution, but it should still be clear what the image is: a Jacob's Ladder ascending into a cloud.
But wait, what's this? The cloud's round. What cloud is round? And the lights in it? What cloud has lights in it? No, obviously this is a UFO!
The stupidity of this is so stupendous that I am speechless.

The final part of this heinous special is about how DC is designed to aliens. By this point the stupid was so thick that it was a chore to keep going. Still I sat through it.
Apparently, D.C. is filled with symbols on the streets. This is clear. There's a star, various sets of triangles around important buildings, and Freemasonic symbols all throughout. So, of course, the only possible explanation of these is aliens! For you see, the Washington monument is at an important point in the city, built so that it lines up directly to the Pleiades. Therefore, it is meant to signal aliens. The Capitol Building is built upon a hill. Hills are important places in cities, as often major sites and buildings are placed on hills. However, there is a specific reason that the Capitol was built on that hill. By being on a hill, Aliens could see it was important. And the star streets? What other purpose could they have other than to signal extraterrestrials to come to Earth?

The great alien George Washington.

The program then ends with images of Washington in paintings on the capitol. This painting is shown. Obviously it was designed as a sort of joke about the deification of Washington. But no, it doesn't show Washington as a deity, watching Congress. It shows him among aliens.


                         

History Channel, why do you have this tripe on the air? This program is a menace to intelligence. It is inept at everything it shows, stupid beyond belief, and toxic to minds. It's not just the crackpots who believe this. Because of this show, I know several people who truly believe that the human race has been manipulated countless times by aliens. Intelligent people who have been influenced by this garbage into buying long-refuted idiotic notions that the human race is inept and unable to pull itself up without outside forces.
This show is insulting, insipid, and offensive to the mind. Don't ever watch it, for even mocking it is painful.

Emptiness

Nobody reads this blog.

I knew this would happen, of course, but it really irks me to see that only four people have seen it in the last three weeks. Maybe that's why Austin doesn't have the counter on the side. It's unbelievably annoying.
However, this does mean that, if I wanted to, I could post whatever crazy shit I wanted, and maybe only the Google people would notice. After all, there are a plethora of crazy blogs out there with weird junk and stupid ideas that have caught my eye. And it would fit my mediocre essay-writing skills.
But I think I'll stick the course of posting random, pointless essays, music reviews, and whatever else I decide to post. It's not like anyone will read it, so why should I care?

The King is Dead

The King is Dead by The Decemberists
9.1/10

Four years ago, if you told me that at age 16 anything resembling country would be my favorite genre, I'd probably slap you. And yet, through the jangly sound of Clearwater, the classic sound of the Eagles, and the warbles of Conor Oberst, Americana is my hands-down favorite genre. So when my dad got the new Decemberists album and told me it was Americana, I couldn't resist.
The Decemberists are known for their much more ornate albums and historical lyrics. I didn't know anything about them before this album, but after listening to The Mariner's Revenge song and 16 Military Wives a few times, I got a sense of how different this album is, and why the reaction was so mixed.
The King is Dead is a straightforward country-rock album in the same vein as Being There or Mermaid Avenue. Starting with a loud harmonica and a roaring beat, the album explores multiple sounds and themes, but nothing strays far out of the rootsy sound. Lyrically, the album ranges from doomsday to miners to simple hymns about months and the seasons. REM's Peter Buck joins in on the REM-esques Calamity Song, but the band seems to keep to one style for the most part. Another important note about this album is that it's a collection of songs. There's nothing like The Crane Wife's meandering themes and narratives, and the whole album has no theme.
It's actually hard to write a full review of this album. Unlike something like I'm Wide Awake It's Morning, there's nothing to really gush about, or to critique. It's so straightforward that it's nearly impossible to say anything. Every song is great, but the album isn't spectacular, and there aren't any huge faults to find. It's just a great album.

1. Don't Carry It All - 9/10 A loud and uplifting country rock song. It features a harmonica and loud, beating drums. The guitar is toned down to give the drums full center, and they punctuate every word Colin Meloy sings. The only break from this is a sudden string-filled bridge.
2. Calamity Song - 11/10 The doomsday song. It starts with a catchy riff by Peter Buck of REM, and adds on layers of instruments. Colin sings of a chaotic apocalypse with a gleeful tone, adding a Summerteeth style dichotomy. This song ranks at number 2 for my favorites on the album.
3. Rise to Me - 10/10 A calmer folk song. I have no idea what the lyrics mean, but they are quite poetic. The song is calm, soothing, and features Colin harmonizing with Gillian Welch. The song is folky with a touch of steel guitar.
4. Rox in the Box - 9/10 The historical song. This one follows miners working on a "grey granite mine." The song paints a bleak picture, and the track relies on accordion and a guitar riff.
5. January Hymn - 10/10 One of my favorites off the album. This song is slow, calm, and beautiful. It's folk, with a repetitive riff and Colin singing softly and melodically. The song is about the feelings of January, regret, and bleakness, yet the song is anything but stark. Again, the dichotomy recalls Summerteeth.
6. Down By the Water - 11/10 The hit, and for good reason. This song marks a departure from the calmer folk and country that preceded it. It's an emotional song, with chiming vocals and a roaring chorus. The song is layered, with guitar and accordion providing a backbone while the drums and vocals take center stage. Lyrically, I have no idea what it's about, but it does seem to hint at nostalgia.
7. All Arise - 8/10 I love and hate this song. It's a simple three-chord country song with chiming violins, cheesy lyrics, and goofy banjo/piano. It's just so odd that I hate it, but it's so catchy that I love it. The chorus is without a doubt the highlight, although I have no clue what "shotgun shy" means.
8. June Hymn - 9/10 A soft song based around harmonica and guitar. Like Rise to Me, the guitar drives the song. However, there are no drums. It's very near acoustic, yet it doesn't seem like it.
9. This is Why We Fight - 7/10 My least favorite on the album. That being said, it's still an excellent song. This song is loud, upbeat, and pounding. It has a feel that sticks out of the album, invoking a vigor and emotion that not even Down by the Water possesses.
10. Dear Avery - 10/10 My third favorite on the album. An acoustic song with a strange chord progression,  this song features Colin Meloy singing in a Conor Oberst style, with heavy emotion and warble. The lyrics describe a letter written to a man named Avery. The song ends with a beautiful coda, with drums, steel guitars, and humming vocals all blending together into pure Americana bliss.

Patriotism

Yesterday was the anniversary of 9/11. Ten years have gone by since that horrific day. I was a little six year old when it happened, and I barely remember that morning. Watching specials on it are the closest I've come to feeling the same emotion that many Americans feel. So, this anniversary did not affect me as it would anyone who lost someone or witnessed the event. It affected me in a very different way.
Following 9/11, there was a surge in patriotism that still lingers to this day. This patriotism allowed such heinous laws like the Patriot act to be passed, and eventually, it allowed the Iraq War to break out. It is something that I personally abhor.
Right or left, people who take this superpatriotic, us above everyone stance really worry me.  The problem that I have with patriotism is that it blinds people with nationalistic ideals that overcome all rational thought. I've been called anti-American for not wanting to recite the pledge in school. In the political arena, President Obama was criticized for not wearing a flag pin. People like Michelle Bachmann have called for investigations on who's "anti-American" in congress. Last year, Glenn Beck hosted the 9/12 Rally to Restore Honor in D.C. This rally leeched off of past accomplishments in American history and was a mockery of patriotism. Hell, the entirety of the Tea Party has based much of their ideology on this faux-patriotism.
Something that these "patriots" are failing to recognize is the difference between patriotism and nationalism. Patriotism is the love of one's country. Nationalism is the obsession of one's country. These people are not patriots, they are nationalists.

"Our country, right or wrong."
          -Stephen Decatur

Nationalism builds up racism. It builds up imperialism. It blinds its followers, wrapped in the flag, and often, religion. A nationalist will have undying love for their country. They will be unresponsive to reason. Historically, nationalist ideologies have been responsible for an endless amount of wars; most notably WWI. WWI was a pointless war fought over a clash of egos. It was fueled by endless nationalism. Another example of nationalism is the Red Scare. The use of irrational fear and the extreme love of America was manipulated to create a political witch hunt.
The people who wrap themselves in the flag and call America God's chosen nation are not patriots. They are nationalists.

"My country right or wrong; if right, to be kept right, and if wrong, to be set right."
         -Carl Schurz


Patriotism is open love for country itself, not its leadership or agenda. A patriot is someone who holds love for their country, but does not blindly follow it. A patriot does not hear a cry for war and immediately declare it a crusade. A patriot does not look at a fault in their society and pretend that it's not a problem. A patriot does not act as a cog in a massive machine with no individuality.
If a nationalist sees his nation bomb the hell out of a smaller country on a faulty excuse, he will declare the excuse valid and insult the smaller nation. A patriot who sees this event will question the reasons and analyze the excuse. In a nation like our own, the patriot would be called a traitor, while the nationalist would be called a patriot.
The "patriots" we have in this nation seem to think that patriotism means someone who always wears flag pins, says the pledge every day, blindly follows whatever the government or their political involvement in the government does, never criticizes anything that America does (unless it's by a politician they dislike), and goes to sleep on an American flag pillow. Someone who criticizes the government or doesn't support a military action will be branded a traitor, communist, or my favorite, socialist.

Of course, the five people who see this post might wonder if I myself am a patriot. Because of the use of the word in this nation, I would not want to call myself one; however, if one considers the real meaning, then almost every loyal American would be called a patriot. I'm just a cynical teenager who finds this fake patriotism to be a pile of bull, but I do love my country. And while the pledge or the national anthem never really affected me, there was one moment where I was overcome by love of country.

Last summer, I was with the Boy Scouts up in the Sierras. It was the final night, and the entire camp was gathered up at a little amphitheater, where two fires were burning. The sun had gone down, but there was just enough light in the sky to bathe the forest in blue moonlight. The amphitheater itself glowed orange from the flame.
Up in front of the crowd stood the staff of the camp. They stood at attention, facing the audience, their faces all glowing orange. The entire camp stood up and at attention as four men, carrying two folded flags, approached the stage. Both stopped in between the fires, and the camp director came down off the boulder. He was in his mid-fifties and sported a white beard. He took out a small slip of paper and introduced the flags. The one I saw was from 1994, and had been flown multiple times in different scouting troops. It had been left out in a storm, ripped, and could no longer properly convey the symbol of our nation. And so the flags were unfolded to be presented to us for one final time.
The flag opened. I looked upon it, at all the faded colors and sad holes, all bathed in an eerie orange glow. I brought my hand up to my forehead and saluted, and we all began to recite the pledge of allegiance. Unlike all those times in school when I would blindly recite it, this time my mind held upon every word, and it all stirred up many emotions deep inside me. We then watched as it was lifted up over the fire to be retired. The flag was lowered gently over the flames, which began to lick greedily at the cloth. The dull orange glow turned to a bright yellow beam, and light smoke began to rise as the fire consumed the old flag. As this went on, the camp director began to sing. His song described where our flag has been flown, describing various scenes in battle and in peace. As he sang, a strange feeling came into my heart, one that I knew, but it was stronger than I had ever felt it before. It was love of country. It was pure patriotism for this great nation; it seemed to overcome everything and swallow up the cynicism that I held.
The fire died down, and the flag had been reduced to a pile of ashes. The entire camp then filed out. As I walked down off the rock and watched the orange glow fade into the trees, my emotions shifted back to normal, but I knew that I loved my country.

That is what patriotism is about. Love of country. It's not about flag pins or saying the pledge. It's about loving your country honestly and sensibly.

Sky Blue Sky

Sporting a muted vibe, soft to crazy guitar solos, and a strange sense of longing, Sky Blue Sky is unlike any other Wilco album. The album is quiet, though it sports a fire that seldom erupts. The lyrics are more straightforward here than anywhere else. Gone are the protools, synthesizers, and chaos. In their place is simple instrumentation and long prog-rock solos. This is truly a dramatic shift for Wilco.
As one would expect, critics were polarized. Some panned it, as they expected wild experimentation, while others lauded it as Wilco’s maturing form. Personally, I don’t care either way. Sky Blue Sky is a good album. It’s not great, but it’s not boring. If anyone wants to judge the album, ignore all the madness from the media outlets and just sit back and listen.
Sky Blue Sky might be mellow, but that doesn't mean it's dull. The music can rise and build to rough heights at whim. This is due to the new guitarist, Nels Cline. Coming from the prog-rock arena, Cline is the most talented guitarist to join the band, though he lacks the songwriting abilities of Jay Bennet. Cline shows off his impressive skills on track three, the gentle Impossible Germany, and on the bluesy Side With the Seeds.
Of course, the dominating force of this album is Jeff Tweedy, the principle songwriter. The songs are driven by Nels Cline, but Tweedy makes them far more ornate than mere folk. The two of them form a kind of partnership, with each taking a different piece of the song. For example, on Impossible Germany, Tweedy dominates the first half with a soft ballad, then turns it over to Nels Cline, who bursts into a three minute solo.
However, Tweedy controls all the words, and he pens lyrics that are completely different from the last three albums. They are incredibly direct and soft, which is very strange coming from a man who once sang a ten minute song about spiders and Lake Michigan. That doesn't mean that they lack emotion. The title track mirrors an earlier Wilco tune, Far Far Away, by showing contemptible relief. The closer is an emotional throwback to Tweedy's childhood, and Hate it Here, which seems to be mere comic relief, shows a deeper understanding of loss. Stripping away the cryptic puzzles Tweedy penned for previous albums, Sky Blue Skyshows him at his core.
Sky Blue Sky also displays Wilco’s wonderful trait of making music that grows with each listen, with Impossible Germany becoming almost as strong as Misunderstood, and the title track as gentle and caring as Far Far Away. Even the weaker songs grow, though none are true masterpieces. The last third of the album seems almost like filler the first few listens, but it grows very well, with the listener often discovering new emotions buried within the songs.
Sky Blue Sky is a great addition to Wilco’s discography, adding a great mellow folk sound to their long list of achievements.

Either Way - 10/10 A very gentle opener. The song is direct and the lyrics meander among possibilities. The song grows slowly, adding instrument after instrument, then slowly shrinks. It's a very beautiful song.

You Are My Face - 10/10 A much fiercer verision of its predecessor. This song begins slowly, adding instrument after instrument. Tweedy brings back the cryptic lyrics, discussing ordinary beehives and screaming doors. The song then builds as Nels Cline takes it over, and one almost expects the fuzzy guitar to be accompanied by saxophones. 

Impossible Germany - 11/10 Best song on the album. This song is really two songs, one by Tweedy and one by Cline. Tweedy starts it with a gentle ballad, tying the Axis Powers as a metaphor for confrontation. Then Cline takes it over, starting with a gentle bridge with two guitars repeating a melody. Then one guitar takes over, the other joins in, and the listener is carried through a blissful musical landscape.

Sky Blue Sky - 11/10 A close second for best song. This song finds Tweedy reflecting on a time of depression, one that mirrors an earlier song, Far Far Away. The narrator is watching a parade in a small town, and he longs for something more. But then he realizes that he's alive and well, and that's good enough for now. This song is brilliant, and I love it.

Side With The Seeds - 10/10 A considerably harsher song. Tweedy sings with a foggy emotion, and the song meanders repetitively through a soul-style melody. Then Nels Cline comes in and whisks the song into a chaotic series of screaming guitars. 

Shake It Off - 4/10 The clear weakest song. This song took a long time for me to get used to it. It has a repeating melody, crashing guitars, and borders on the annoying. Tweedy sings with a much more muted vioce here, then shouts the title several times. The instruments crash and moan, and the song ends.

Please Be Patient With Me - 10/10 After two noisy tracks, here we have the gentlest song on the album. This song is a quiet speech from one lover to another, with only Tweedy's sad voice, guitar, and bass. The result is a muted and sad tune that stands out on the album.

Hate It Here - 9/10 This is a puzzling song. It sounds like comic relief, as it describes a man learning chores after a breakup, but underneath this there seems to be a much deeper sense of loss and longing. The song is brilliant in this regard. Musically, it's similar to You Are My Face, but it brings in a much jazzier feel for the chorus.

Leave Me Like You Found Me - 8/10 Another gentle song. Upon first glance, I felt that this was dull, with a repetitive style and Tweedy singing like he's reciting a lullaby. But this one grows, as does the album, with each listen. True, it's not a standout track, but it's still a good song.

Walken - 8/10 A much more upbeat song. This song is a gentle piano-driven romp that describes a narrator who is walking along, singing about his lover. This songs seems to be much more optimistic than its predecessor, and it might be the most shallow song here.

What Light - 8/10 Tweedy obviously learned something from Woody Guthrie. Here he sings about popularity and the artistic style, saying that "What was yours is anyone's from now on." The song seems to be set on the concept of a light that drives emotion.

On And On And On - 9/10 A sad piano driven ballad. Tweedy wrote this about the death of his mother when he was a child. It describes a speech his father gave him saying that people are designed to die. The song builds to a climax with strings, guitar, bass, and piano all forming a sort of symphony. Then everything strips away to reveal Tweedy's lone voice. The album ends with that somber note.

Bonus Tracks:
Itunes carries two bonus tracks for the album. Both are phenomenal, and I'll include them in this review.

Let’s Not Get Carried Away - 10/10 A loud rocker that describes the resentment that Tweedy feels from being a musician. Tweedy screams with anger in the song, begging the listener to not get carried away. The song is much harsher than the rest of the album.

The Thanks I Get - 11/10 I consider it a crime that this song was cut from the album. A soft folk-rock song, this is a beautiful piece of music. It's simple and catchy, describing a man asking his lover if her actions are the thanks he gets from falling in love. This song is unbelievably good, and as to why Wilco left it off the album, I have no idea.